I was looking back at old blogs that I started and never finished. I wrote the following maybe 4 months ago around July.
Remember when you were little and people asked you what you wanted to be when you grow up? I always answered, a missionary. Now I am doing that vocationally, but I still wonder what I want to be when I grow up.
Being a missionary doesn't really answer the question. Be a missionary doing what and where? Province work, relief, rescue, rehabilitation, outreach, mentoring, church planting, teaching, the list can go on forever.
Now don’t get me wrong, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I am less worried about that now. That may be because I spend over 40 hours a week doing something I love. Now I know I won’t be here in Cambodia working for Daughters forever, but it is encouraging to know that God had a plan during my time of questioning. During all my frustrations and confusion and tears, God knew all along what his plan was and is for Jesse and I during this season of our lives.
I know I am confident now because I am secure with where God has me. I know there will be times when the frustration, confusion, and tears come back. But I have seen God, over and over again, reassure me that he has a plan that I can’t understand in the moment. His Word reminds us of this so many times.
I am thankful for a God of grace, a God of patients, and a God that always provides. At different times he provides exactly what we need. He always provides financially for us, like being able to buy tickets to go home for Christmas, he always provides Godly counsel, he always provides family when we are away from our own, and he always provides comfort in times when I need his arms around me.
I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises. I will boast only in the Lord; Let all who are helpless take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt his name together. I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles. For the angel of the Lord is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!