In a past blog, I wrote about feeling inadequate. Since then God has been speaking to me non-stop about how he chose me for the job. God has spoken to me through prayer, words of encouragement, and through friends. I was at a woman’s retreat last weekend and God spoke through one of my friends. After we were finished praying for one another she looked at me with tear filled eyes. She was so taken back by God’s clarity and words for me. She said, God wants you to know that you are like David. Young and feeling unprepared but God has chosen you to fight. My sister in law Bria, a week or so prior, has similar encouraging words to share with me.
Furthermore, Vouen, our children’s pastor, was talking to my boss. He said that when people see me with the kids, walking them to and from Sparrow’s Nest everyday, they ask him why. Why do I hold them? Why do I care for them? Why do I love on them when they are dirty and street kids? Vouen then gets to share the gospel of Jesus. I love them, because Jesus loves them. He continued to tell my boss that he gets to tell more people about Jesus because of my actions than for any other reason. Please understand that I am not telling you this story to tell you how amazing I am, because I am nothing special. I tell you this to share with you how God has been encouraging me. How he has put people in my life lately to speak words that make me, although still completely inadequate without him, feel as if I am making a difference.
Another thing that God has been slowly bringing me through is pondering the never ending questions of knowing his future plans for my life. How long are Jesse and I supposed to be here, when do we move home, when do we have kids, what are we supposed to do in the future??? The questions could continue. God spoke clearly to me last week about this. I was writing some things down that I wanted to pray about regularly and I wrote the word DIRECTION. Immediately after I wrote the word down my hand wrote NO. Then I just kept writing. I continued to write what I believe, were words that God was giving me that I needed to write and understand. I wrote that right now the questions I have are not going to be answered. God has called me here, for this time, and I am not supposed to constantly question “what’s next?”. I am supposed to grow closer to God, get to know him in a more intimate way, and when it is time, God will reveal what’s next. I don’t know if something difficult is coming or if something so amazing is on the horizon, but either way God is telling me that I need to be grounded so firm in him that when that time comes my foundation is like solid rock.
Please know that your encouraging words and prayers are a blessing to us both. Please keep reading and praying for us and the journey God has us on.